hearing

Honestly, I wasn't going to post this. It's personal.

I changed my mind after almost a week of wanting to share my experience, and knowing I won't likely be standing up to bear my testimony in Portuguese in church quite yet. Instead, I'll share it here with you, my internet world.

Last weekend was our church's General Conference. As April approached, I found myself looking forward to watching this General Conference more than I can ever remember. Primarily, I anticipated this historic Conference and the opportunity to sustain and hear from our new prophet, President Monson.

As I loaded the internet and we waited for the Conference broadcast to begin, a prior broadcast began to play and the Tabernacle Choir was singing. Tears flowed down my face and in that instant I realized another reason why this conference was so important to me.

We have been in Brazil for only 2 months. Understanding the lessons, talks, and prayers in church each Sunday in a language and culture that is so unfamiliar to me is still a great challenge. I have been eager for General Conference and to feel that outpouring of the spirit and enrichment that I struggle so hard to feel even a glimpse of in our meetings each week. I also knew that seeing the choir and the speakers in the conference center would help me feel connected and not so far away from "home".

Then to my dismay, as the first session of Conference began the video began to stall and quit working. In frantic frustration, I fussed with our internet connection and tried every source of broadcast media available to me.

Nothing.

All I wanted to do was watch conference and for my children to see our new prophet! Fortunately, we were able to get the audio streaming to work and we finally resigned ourselves to the fact that simply listening to Conference was our only option.

Conference was incredible. The talks were so profound and the messages so personal. We were grateful for the opportunity to participate as we sustained President Monson and felt blessed that we were able to hear the new prophet speak with the mantle of his calling evident in his voice.

During the last session, when Elder Ballard spoke specifically to the mothers of young children, I felt (as all young mothers must have felt) as though he was talking directly to me. So much of what he said I needed to hear as I struggle for peace and inspiration in my calling as a mother in the world today. I needed the refocus and encouragement he gave. I was certainly uplifted and felt a great outpouring of love from my Heavenly Father throughout the weekend.

Still, as the Conference sessions progressed, I couldn't help being frustrated that I couldn't see it!

Conference was being broadcast via satellite at the church, but we had given our driver the weekend off and we cannot legally drive ourselves here in Brazil. As I was attempting again to load the video Sunday morning, I prayed in my heart to Heavenly Father that the internet would work so that we could see the prophet.

Please Heavenly Father, let it work. I need to see conference, I prayed. My answer and the words to a hymn came so immediately, almost as if they were just a continuation of my thoughts:

I don't need to see the prophet. Come listen to a prophet's voice.

Although I'm sure the Lord could have sped up my internet connection so that the video would work, he wasn't going to. I could listen to conference, and that's what I needed. I needed to be taught the messages of the gospel and to feel the spirit, and as much as I wanted to, I didn't need to see the conference center and the speakers to do that.

I know President Monson is the new living prophet of God. I'm grateful I was able to hear his voice, and that my children were able to hear his voice and look at his picture in the Ensign Magazine while we listened. We were enriched, uplifted, and touched by the spirit this weekend and my testimony of listening to the prophet's voice was strengthened.