a load of trash

Wednesday, May 23: Phone call to Waste Management.

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Matt: "Hi, we're moving into our house tomorrow and need to set up garbage collection."

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Company representative: "No problem. Trash day is Wednesday. Leave your garbage in bags on the curb and they'll pick it up Wednesday and leave you a garbage can. "

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Matt: "Great! That was easy. Thank you."

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Evening of Tuesday, May 29: Carry everything out to the curb for pickup and notice no one else has their garbage cans out.

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Wednesday, May 30: No garbage collection. We move all the stinky garbage bags back into the garage.

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Evening of Wednesday, May 30: Notice the neighbors' garbage cans out, figure they just told us the wrong day and move all our garbage bags back out to the curb.

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Morning of Thursday, May 31: Garbage truck comes. Garbage truck takes the neighbors' garbage. Garbage truck leaves. None of our garbage is picked up. No garbage cans left for us.

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A few minutes later: Phone call to Waste Management.

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Matt: "The garbage truck came but didn't pick up our garbage."

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Company representative: "Sorry about the inconvience, sir. We'll send a guy to pick it up."

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Matt: "Great, thanks."

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A little later in the morning of Thursday, May 31: A second garbage truck comes. Second garbage truck leaves. None of our garbage is picked up. No garbage cans left for us.

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Another few minutes later: Another phone call to Waste Management.

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Matt explains the situation.

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A different company reprsentative (the short version): "Trash day is Thursday. You can't leave all that garbage on the street, and they'll only pick up three trash bags. You have to wait until you have a garbage can delivered, then they can collect your garbage. We'll have someone bring you a garbage can today, and they can take whatever you can fit into the garbage can."

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Afternoon of Thursday, May 31: We hang up the phone and wait. Matt watches the window and runs out to the driveway as he sees a garbage truck drive by. He waves his arms frantically to flag them down, yet returns to the house defeated. This makes garbage truck number three that came in the same day and left without taking our garbage and without leaving us a garbage can.

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A little later in the afternoon of Thursday, May 31: Another phone call to Waste Management.

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Matt: "I just want to verify that we will, in fact, receive a garbage can at some point in time."

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Company representative: "Yep, they'll bring it today and collect the garbage in it tomorrow."

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Matt: "I was told they'd collect the garbage at the same time as delivery of the garbage can."

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Company representative: "No sir. The delivery truck doesn't have collection capabilities."

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Matt: "Okay, tomorrow then."

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Even later in the afternoon of Thursday, May 31: Delivery of garbage can. Hurray!

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Evening of Thursday, May 31: We cram as much as we can into the tiny garbage can, move it to the curb for our personally scheduled pick up and leave the other 2/3 of our garbage in the garage (until we figure out how we're going to dispose of it)

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Afternoon of Friday, June 1: We stand in the driveway and stare in amazement as a garbage truck comes by, backs up like it's going to pick up our full garbage can, and then switches gears and drives off. Our garbage can sits on the curb, still full and stinky.

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We look around for the hidden camera crew to jump out and tell us about the joke being played on us.

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A little later in the afternoon of Friday, June 1: Yet another phone call to waste managment.

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Matt again explains the perplexing situation.

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Company representative: "Everyone's gone home for the day. We'll send someone on Monday to pick that up."

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Sure you will.