To the little love of my life,
9 months.
Really? 9 months?
That's how long it took me to grow you. Parts of that 9 months- the weeks of nausea, the waiting, the uncomfortably restless nights, the contractions and the pushing- felt like they'd last a lifetime.
This 9 months felt like trying to hold a pile of sand in my hands- all of it running though my fingers with no way to stop it or slow it down.
You're not my little newborn anymore. You're a busy baby on the move. You crawl, you stand up and you get into everything. It's fun, in it's own way. You're so happy. You make us all so happy. It's a joy to watch you relish in your new freedom with new places to explore, new toys to discover, new trouble to get into. Never stopping. Never holding still.
But somewhere in the midst of all the energy and the growing up, I am still able to find those quiet little moments when my heart speaks to yours.
Like in those early hours this morning. It was too early for either of us to be awake, yet we were. Exhasted, I wrapped you in my arms and crawled back into bed. You snuggled right into my side, settling in the bend of my arm that fits your little body so perfectly it must have been created just for you. You held one finger in your fist. You were so still, so calm. I felt your warm breath on my skin, and knew you had fallen right back to sleep.
Just before sleep won over both of us, I lifted my head to peek at your face. There you were. Not sleeping. Staring. At me. Nothing moved but your big blue eyes to gaze into mine. Our hearts connected. You wanted nothing more out of life than to be right there, right then. And neither did I.
I turned my face to brush the side of my cheek softly across the top of your fuzzy little head, back and forth, stopping only briefly to kiss it. I hope you don't grown hair for a really long time. I waited for you to move, to roll over and crawl away. You didn't. You stayed- completely awake, completely still, and completely content in my arms staring up at me.
Eventually, we both fell asleep.
Then you woke up and tackled me with a big slobbery grin.
5 comments:
Oh Mare, I love this. It brings back such good memories, and also reminds me to hold on to what I have now. Thanks for sharing. Love ya.
Mary- You have such a perfect way of saying exactly how I feel! Am I allowed to copy your blog into my journal? :)
Beautiful. I may or may not have had a little tear while reading this and thinking about a similar morning with my 9 month old. Time goes by way too fast.
I've had these moments too--I don't ever want to forget them!
I should be packing! Instead I am poking around on your blog. Loved your letter. That feeling of sleeping and snuggling with my baby is one of the best I've felt. It really does go by way to fast!
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