My little Sawyer Boy,
I am so completely in love with you. I can't get enough of you. You are 3 1/2 months old already. When did that happened? Each week that passes evokes a little twinge of sadness as you grow a little older, and I find myself wanting to somehow stop the time from slipping away.
Sometimes at night, I can't put you down. I don't want to put you down. Especially after your bath, and you smell so perfectly like new baby. I wrap you in a cuddly blanket, you snuggle up under my chin, right where I can breathe you in, and I want to never let you go. Sometimes you grab onto my finger with your perfectly soft and tiny little hand. I kiss your smooth, bald head a million times. I know I should probably put you in bed, but I can't bring myself to do it. We both fall asleep, snuggled together.
You got sick and just wanted me to hold you. I didn't do much of anything except hold you, feed you, and comfort you all day long. At times, the task-oriented part of me longed to get something done around the house, but the mom part of me savored a reason to forget about it all and give you what you needed.
I love that you need me. Sometimes you need only me. Occasionally, that's inconvenient when Dad would really like to be the one you want, or I can't be the one you have right at that moment, but I love that you need me. When you cry your cry, I know all you want from the world is for me to pick you up so you can bury your little head between my arm and my side and go to sleep. It's your favorite place to be.
You smile at me now. If anything could melt my heart, that's it. You smile and your bright blue eyes light up. Your are my sweet little angel boy. And I'm utterly and completely smitten.
4 comments:
Oh Mary! I'm caring for my sick baby tonight too. It's heart breaking to see them sick and you want so much to see their pain go away.
Thank you for sharing. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother.
now i want another one. sweet little sawyer. there's nothing better than these sweet babies. your such an amazing mom mary, thanks for the great example!
Mary, if I had the talent, I would put that most beautiful love letter to music. You just nailed so much of the experience, through every sense, huh?
Amen. I have trouble putting mine down at night too when he is all mine and I don't have to share. He is getting so spoiled. I nearly cried reading this and I can't claim pregnancy hormones anymore! You are a wonderful writer! Enjoy that little boy!
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